Editor’s Note: We issue an explicit language and content warning for depression and self-harm. If you are struggling, help is available. Refer to this comprehensive list of international hotlines for emergency support, suicide prevention, and access to support groups.
Empty on a Crowded Campus
i move through the masses
a ghost among the living
unseen
unheard
irrelevant
laughter pierces the air
sharp
mocking
a reminder i’m not a part
each step i take feels
heavier
dragging me further
into the quicksand of isolation
They promise connection
but i’ve shown up
again and again
offering
my smile
my words
my time
only to be met with an indifference
so fucking profound
it sears
like a brand pressed into raw skin
a constant reminder of feeling unwelcome
the silence isn’t simply quiet
it’s alive
it gnaws at me
whispering truths i can no longer ignore
No one notices
No one cares
i am a body filling a chair
a placeholder in a life that isn’t mine
They have something
They have someone
i have nothing but the space between four walls
that close in a little more each night
loneliness here isn’t an ache
it’s a scream
that burrows deep
ripping apart the fragile threads of who i am
unraveling pieces i thought were safe
i dared to hope
this time might hold something more
something real
something that mattered
there’s no lesson in this
no catharsis
it is what it is
a crowded campus
and me
alone