Have a question for Bestie? Submit your question by using the Submit Dear Bestie tab at the top of this page!
Q: Hey Bestie,
I love going out with my friends, but I feel like I’m always the one making sure everyone gets home safe, stops drunk-texting their ex, and doesn’t do anything too reckless. I don’t mind being the responsible one, but sometimes I just want to relax and have fun too. How do I balance being the mom friend without feeling like I’m on duty all the time?
—Designated Babysitter
A: Hey Babysitter,
First of all, major props to you—every friend group needs someone like you. That said, you shouldn’t have to carry the whole squad on your back every night. Set some boundaries before you even leave—rotate responsibilities, make sure everyone has their own way home, and agree before the drinks start flowing that no one’s making bad ex-related decisions (or at least, they do it at their own risk). You deserve to let loose too! If you’re always the responsible one, people will assume you’re always fine with it. Remind them that while you love them, you also love a night where you don’t have to be the one confiscating phones and ordering up Ubers.
—Bestie