Q: Hey Bestie,
My roommate and I were super close at the start of the year, but lately, everything they do annoys me. The way they chew, the way they leave their stuff everywhere, even the way they breathe sometimes. I don’t want to ruin our friendship, but I also don’t know how to bring this up without sounding like a total jerk. Help!
—Annoyed but Affectionate
A: Hey Annoyed,
Ah, the classic roommate fatigue. Living with someone, no matter how much you love them, is like being in a long-term relationship—you will get on each other’s nerves eventually. The key is to address the little things before they turn into a full-blown rage spiral. Pick one or two things that actually need adjusting (not the way they breathe—sorry, you’re stuck with that one) and have a casual, non-accusatory chat. Something like, “Hey, I know we’ve both been stressed, but could we tweak a couple things to make the space more chill?” Framing it as teamwork instead of criticism keeps it from feeling like an attack. And honestly? A little alone time helps too—grab your headphones, take a walk, and breathe in some non-roommate air.
—Bestie